Broken Glass and Chipped Paint
by decemberisforcynics
Summary: Alice has always been the kind of girl who believes in soulmates and Happily Ever Afters. So, what's she supposed to do when Jasper, her soulmate and husband, cheats on her?


_The Middle _

"I think we're getting a divorce." The words feel odd, cold in my mouth.

Bella spits her drink out. "What?"

I need something to help me get this next line out. I down half my drink. The club lights flash in the background. "He cheated on me."

"Jasper?" she asks, looking baffled.

I run my hand across my face to collect stray tears. I finish my drink. "No, my other husband," I say, trying to make a joke out of it somehow. Sarcasm is my only weapon at this point. "Yes, Jasper. I hate him."

"When did he cheat on you?"

I signal the bartender for another drink. I want to put my head down on this bar, but if I do I'll know I'll completely breakdown, right here in this "hip" Seattle club. "A few days ago. He came home and told me he made a mistake and the whole thing poured out of him. It only happened once, I think. But once a cheater, always a cheater, right?" I feel my façade crumbling, my walls breaking down.

Bella yanks me into a hug. "Oh, Alice," she whispers in my ear. "I'm so sorry."

I'm only aware I'm crying because I see the tears hitting Bella's shirt and leaving wet spots. I try to choke back the tears. I pull myself away from Bella, recede inside of myself, fixing the walls.

"I'll be fine," I lie to her. "I…" I close my eyes. "I'll be fine."

_I have to be. _

-:-

I'm slightly drunk from the drinks. I'm dancing and twirling on the club's dance floor, but inside I'm crashing and burning. He hated clubs with a passion. Too loud and crowded for his likes. He's much rather stay home with me, curl up on our slightly ratty couch in our apartment, and watch movies until the sun came up.

Hands go around my waist and I feel someone guide my hips to the beat. "I'm Jack," a man whispers in my ear.

"Alice," I say. I turn around in his arms and stare at him. His hands stay on my hips. He's mildly attractive (twenty-something, brown hair, and blue eyes staring right into mine), and I feel the alcohol urging me on. I stand up and press my lips to his just to see, just as an experiment to myself, just to really plunge the knife in deeper.

He's shocked, but he responds quickly, tongue probing my mouth, hands sliding down until they rest on my butt.

I pull away from him. I go to the bathroom and sit in one of the stalls. I stare at the graffiti on the walls. I cry.

_The End_

It was a stupid idea to get drunk last night. I'm hung-over and I feel my stomach rolling as I try not to throw up while my students are at lunch. I told my friends as work I wasn't feeling that well, so none of them look too alarmed when I bolt out of the faculty room to throw up.

Once I'm finished, I go out to wash my hands and my mouth. Good thing there's a vending machine not too far away where I can buy a bottle of water. The bathroom door bangs open, and Veronica, another teacher here, walks in. She examines me in the mirror as she reapplies her lipstick.

"Don't worry," she tells me. "The morning sickness gets better after a while. I won't tell anybody until you make the announcement yourself." She points to her pregnant stomach and grins.

_Morning sickness?_

She thinks I'm pregnant. I shake my head. "No. I'm not pregnant. Trust me."

"I totally understand," Veronica tells me. "Newlyweds and all."

"No, there's no way I could be pregnant." I had gotten my period since the last time Jasper and I had sex. It was impossible.

"Okay then," Veronica says. "Whatever you say." She smiles at me as she leaves the room.

I yank up my shirt to examine my stomach. I know I'm not pregnant but the thought alone is enough to terrify me. Jasper and I had always talked about having children, but since I had kicked him out of our apartment and we were probably separating in the near future, the idea of carrying his child made my mind freeze up in terror. It wasn't even the fact that he had cheated on me that terrified me.

It was the fact that I would probably be raising the baby alone if I _was_ pregnant.

I drop my shirt and scowl at myself. I'm not pregnant. Stupid Veronica.

-:-

I wake up from my nap on the couch abruptly. My arms are wrapped tightly around a sweater's of Jasper's. The wet spots on it must be my tears. Damn him.

Why did I wake up so suddenly?

Then I hear it. A knock.

Someone is at my door. I stumble my way off the couch and abandon the sweater on the couch. I open the door and stare at Jasper.

I'm not expecting the emotions I get when I see him. Hate, and longing, and love, and anger, and distrust all slam into my poor weak body the second I see him and his stupid blond hair, and his stupid blue eyes.

"Hey," he says in the low voice of his. I swallow past the ball in my throat.

"Hi."

"Can I come?" Jasper asks.

I fold my arms tightly across my chest. Maybe to hold myself together. Maybe I'm trying to protect my body from whatever he's going to tell me now, whatever bombshell he's going to drop on me. "Why do you need to come in?"

He looks sad. "I need to pack all of my stuff. I'm moving in with Emmett."

That's when I notice the boxes by his feet.

"Oh," I choke out. I kicked him out. I should be happy about this. He's moving out and I'll never have to deal with his cheating ass again. I'll never see his stupid stuff lying around anymore. I won't have to clean up after him. I shouldn't feel like the world is ending. I open the door wider to let him in.

Jasper gazes around our apartment with a sad look on his face. He closes his eyes for a second and then moves to our bedroom. Through the open door, I can see him putting his clothes in his boxes. Something tugs inside of me. I push the tug away.

_Remember, he cheated on me? _

He was drunk!

_He still had sex with someone who wasn't me!_

You still love him.

I try to shut the voice in my head up before it gets too loud and distracts me. I turn away from the bedroom and sit down on the couch. I grab his sweater in my hands on clutch at it with two hands. I hear him rummaging around in the bedroom, getting all of his stuff.

The sweater feels warm in my hands. He starts bringing boxes out to his car. I clutch it tighter and stare blankly at the TV in front of me.

My breath hitches in my throat.

Damn him.

Jasper brings the last box out and stand awkwardly behind me. He hasn't said anything about his sweater.

"Alice," he says. "I really am sorry."

I close my eyes.

He walks to the door. Opens the door. Pauses, but then starts to go.

"Wait," I whisper. I open my eyes. The sweater is heavy in my hands as I stand up. "I think we should talk."

The responding smile from Jasper is brighter than a million suns. I smile back, tentatively.

_The Beginning_

The door slams against the door as I open it too hard. I don't take notice as I struggle with the bags in my hands. Jasper jumps off the couch to grab some of the bags from my hands.

"Thanks," I tell him. I kiss him hello and bring the bags to the kitchen. As I unpack the groceries, I talk to Jasper, my wonderful husband, about my first day as a teacher. I yank my hair out of it's bun I threw it up in during lunch hour and sit down. I slide my heels off and place my legs in Jasper's lap. I want to sleep.

"I never realized just how exhausting being a teacher to 20 5 year olds could be. Remind me why I became a teacher again?"

He smiles at me and flicks through the channels until he stops on one of our favorite movies. "Because you love little kids. Because you went to college to become a teacher. Because you're insane."

I snuggle up closer to him. "I think it might be the last one. I didn't realize how many tantrums can happen in one day when you throw a bunch of 5 years old in an enclosed space. It was like a WWE match, I kid you not."

He's quiet. I look up at him and can tell something's wrong. "What's up, Jas?"

"I made a mistake," he whispers. "A huge one."

I take my feet off his lap and sit up. "What happened?"

Jasper folds his hands and stares at them. "I was drunk."

A sort of cold feeling starts creeping over my body. I've heard people say they've seen Death right before a near death experience. I feel like that's what I'm experiencing.

Suddenly, I don't want to know. I want to take all of Jasper's words and shove them back in his mouth so he'll never ever say them. I don't know what they are, but I know I don't want to hear them. I want to go back in time and never ask him if he was okay. I don't want to hear what he has to say.

"I didn't realize what was going on. I…I had sex with somebody."

I stand up. I can't really feel my body anymore. "What do you mean?" My voice sounds tiny, and scared. Like a child's.

"I cheated on you, Alice. I'm sorry."

I feel like my chest is caving in on itself. I feel the urge to scream and beat my beat against his chest. I'm not sure what to do. Should I break something? People in this place in the movies usually break something. I grab the first thing I can find and throw it at a wall. The paint chips as the glass hits it, and water goes everywhere.

"Get out." Is that my voice, that little tiny thing, cracking all over the place?

"Alice – "

"Get out!" I shriek at him. I pick up a magazine and throw that too just for the hell of it.

Jasper gets up. Walks to the door. Pauses and looks back at me.

"I'm sorry."

Then he leaves.

I fall to the ground and cry, not entirely sure how to do anything else at this point.


End file.
